My Op-Ed that the New York Times and Washington Post did not publish (those bastards):
In an attempt to understand some of the oddities in our universe, theoretical physicists have come upon an intriguing concept: It is entirely possible that, besides our own universe, there are an infinite number of parallel universes somewhere out there. In these parallel universes, everything else that could possibly happen at this moment is happening: You have just won your fifth Oscar as best director, Mallowmars cure the common cold, Tom Cruise is a psychiatrist, and so on.
If this is true, it follows that in one of these universes, Barack Obama, the first black man to have a shot at the presidency, has just gracefully exited the race against Hillary Clinton, the first woman within spitting distance, for the Democratic ticket. He had been doing well; many thought he was a shoo-in. But in one of the most dramatic contests in political history, Obama lost momentum and fell mortally behind in the primaries.
In this alternate universe, Obama’s life-story and political history are swapped with Clinton’s. To voters, Senator Obama is seen as the nerdy and annoying policy wonk, condemned for his Iraq resolution vote. His opponent, a political unknown until she gave a rousing speech at the 2004 Democratic convention, has become the golden girl. Clinton has little experience and her policies have been criticized, but her strength is her ability to inspire people in speeches and her promises of change from the “same old government.”
To understand Obama’s historic fall from grace, let’s examine the press coverage of the world’s first black candidate to almost make it to the White House. Interestingly, the press in this other universe has been virtually identical to the press coverage in our world, but what has happened here to Clinton has instead happened to Obama:
Tucker Carlson, MSNBC: "There's just something about Obama that feels castrating, overbearing, and scary."
Meghan Daum, Los Angeles Times: “Obama just wants this too badly. His Achilles heel is. …he is visibly salivating from hunger. That may be OK for white candidates…But if there's anything that's drilled into African American's heads…it's the importance of playing hard to get, of pretending we don't want anything at all."
Washington Post: “[Obama stated:] ‘Susan B. Anthony's dream began to be realized when President Wilson passed the Nineteenth Amendment. It took a president to get it done.’ Critics read that as playing down Anthony's importance in the women’s movement…Clinton: ’Senator Obama made an unfortunate remark, an ill-advised remark…He is free to explain that.’”
Chris Matthews, MSNBC [on Obama’s statement to his alma mater that the all-black school prepared him for the all-white club of politics]: "Is [he] pandering or playing to the black crowd…This anti-white thing…is that something you can sort of spruce up, you can play up, up there?"
CBS.com: “When Michelle Obama referred to Clinton's explanation of her Iraq resolution vote as ‘the biggest fairy tale that I have ever seen,’ many women heard more than policy criticism. They heard a dismissive attack on the first woman with a real chance of winning the White House. They heard echoes of gender battles of the past. And they heard it from someone who was supposed to be on their side.”
New York Post: “…the media focus was once again on Michelle Obama, who said…: "Geraldine Ferraro won New Hampshire in '84 and '88. Ferraro ran a good campaign. And Clinton ran a good campaign here." Slate.com: “Michelle Obama has explicitly belittled Clinton's New Hampshire victory by comparing it to Geraldine Ferraro's…”
Associated Press: “Sex Museum Displays Barack Obama Statue: Cast in resin and bearing ample ‘family jewels,’ a sculpture of the Democrat was unveiled this week at the Museum of Sex in Manhattan…’His sexuality is on display, prominently portraying sexual power which some people still consider too threatening,’ sculptor Daniel Edwards said.”
Katie Couric, 60 Minutes, interviewing Obama: "Someone told me your nickname in school was Mr. Softie. Is that true?"
Reuters: “Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama…was met by a couple of hecklers at a campaign event who shouted ‘Shine my Shoes, Shine my Shoes.’”
Rush Limbaugh: “Will this country want to actually watch a black man get older before their eyes on a daily basis?”
While heartening that this society is showing enthusiastic support of a female candidate--especially since, like in our universe, women were unable to even cast a vote until 1920--these press clippings reveal an intolerance for an African American candidate: double-standard fault-finding, blatant racism, etc. Thank God our own universe is nothing like this, a place where hyper-criticism and intolerance to an entire category of human beings is no further than the articles in the newspaper you may be holding in your hands.
